I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
