My friends, they love my intelligence
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
