Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
