Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
