oh fat girl friday strikes again...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
A+ Viking dick
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
