would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
