here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
