We need to rekindle our bromance
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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