You can't special order awesome
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
