Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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