my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
