I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize