Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
