he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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