just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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