You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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