they need to just BURY HIM!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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