just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
