I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
