Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
