every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
