Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can text with my tongue
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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