people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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