Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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