I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
