biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize