why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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