Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize