i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
