All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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