Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
