the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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