Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
