PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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