Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
