Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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