clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
