Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
