After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize