Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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