Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
