All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
