at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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