so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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