you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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