I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
