i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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