bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
