is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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