She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
