barbara walters just said penis...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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