and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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