awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
