I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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