I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i think my cat just said my name.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
