How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
