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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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