It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
