ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
