How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
