the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
